best friend ketchup

this blog entry is dedicated to my best friend gab, who i wrote about in my previous blog entry, reflecting on our teenage adventures in canning. i’m dedicating this entry to him, because he’s moving to fkking toronto in a month. he’s looking at apartments this weekend, and after almost a year of knowing that it would eventually happen, it only just hit me this week. i know i can’t complain too much, cause he’s only my first friend lost to toronto, and i have watched too many good people who have lost too many close buddies to that darn city, and it’s hard each and every time, but the first cut is the deepest, and i’m admittedly pretty heartbroken. anyhow, i’m a drama queen, so i obviously had to make a ketchup to mark his departure, and write a sappy blog entry about the process, complete with photos documenting our lives together.

he’s seen me through the best and worst times of the past eight years, and while i have been somewhat transient in this city, moving from home to home and changing neighborhoods almost every year, his house has been more of a constant in my life than any other space, and i’ve always felt welcome there. he’s one of the only people who knows how to sit with me through a panic attack, i can call him at any hour of the night (though not in the mornings!), and i’ve never truly felt alone in this lonely city knowing he’s around.

gab and i fight in the kitchen. i mean, we fight all the time as best friends sometimes do, but the kitchen is the absolute worst. i want to test out new recipes, and he’s good to eat potatoes and sausages, like clockwork, day in and day out. i’d say we’re probably rather unpleasant to hang around in the kitchen, ’cause we have conflicting culinary needs, we’re not afraid to have it out with each other, and he’s one of the only people with whom i can let my unbearable brattiness truly shine.

but seriously though, this guy has been a serious part of my every day life since i was seventeen years old. it hasn’t always been a breeze, but at the end of the day, he has stuck with me through thick and thin, taken care of me, worked shitty jobs with me, housed me, fed me, played supermario with me all winter, cared about me unconditionally, comforted me, nursed me back to health, hung out with me even when i was definitely no fun to be around, fought with me, called me on my shit, stood up for me, and had my back 365 days of the year, and he deserves a goodbye condiment, just the way he likes it.



  • One teaspoon of olive oil
  • One red onion, minced
  • 1/3 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 8-10 tomatoes, deseeded and cubed
  • 1/3 of a cup of granulated sugar
  • 2 tablespoons of dark brown sugar
  • 1/3 of a cup of tomato paste
  • 2 tablespoons of mustard powder
  • 1 tablespoon of turmeric
  • Salt to taste


  • Heat oil in heavy-bottomed pan
  • Sautee onions and tomatoes on high for 3-5 minutes
  • Add all other ingredients, except for the lemon
  • Cook over low heat for an additional 25-30 minutes
  • Add lemon
  • Put everything in a food processor, and process until smooth

Ketchup should last for one month in the fridge.

Take good care of my buddy, Toronto. He’s just about the most special person I know.